2012 Is Upon Us

Boy oh boy, it is already 2012. My final semester of college. Kinda scary but kinda exciting! In just 4 short months everything I have been working for since...well, I guess K-3, will finally all be over with. I will walk across the graduation stage, get my diploma, and be forced into the real world to get a full time job and start trying to support myself for the rest of my life. It is an exhilarating, terrifying, thrilling, scary thought. My whole life I have been given the job of a student (among other things and part time jobs) but my main responsibility was to go to class and do well in school. This comes with a sense of security in knowing exactly what you're doing and knowing what is expected of you, but again, it is what you have to do and you are tied to it. So when you graduate, although now you don't have a default "job" of being a student, you are now free from anything really. You don't have to worry about writing papers, studying for tests or working out a schedule with employers around your classes.  You are free. Free to do what you want and when you want. (This is not entirely true seeing as I would love to do a lot of things, but am restricted in the fact that doing almost anything costs money.) But after graduation is a crazy time in one's life (I would imagine and will soon find out.) Everything you've always known is suddenly done and you have the world before you; it is trying to figure out what to do with it that is the scary part. Actually taking those chances, following your dreams, feeling disappointment and fear, walking blindly into the unknown, knowing things are going to be hard, confusing, difficult, and sad but doing them anyway because sometimes there are things that you just have to do but will feel better after they are done, even if it is hard at the time. So here is to enjoying my last semester. My last semester of certainty, of schooling, test taking and group papers/presentations, my last semester of being tied to an obligation that requires time and location. Because come May, it will all be over and done, with the world before me. I have absolutely no idea what 2012 has in store for me (at least starting in May) but I hope whatever it is I am happy, love what i'm doing,  and making great memories.

Hear Me Out. Spread The Love.

After seeing 3 different people post this video on Facebook and Twitter I decided I should probably watch it. It is heartbreaking. What is so wrong with society that this kid had to start cutting himself in second grade? I mean, I know kids can be mean and bullies, but where are all the adults? What are the teachers up to, do they see this going on? Does no one notice any of his scars?

Now, i've never actually been bullied, but I do know what it is like to be an outcast...to feel like you are on the outside looking in, to not have many friends and to be mad at yourself. I could feel his tears. I have no idea why kids would be so cruel as to call this kid all these names. From the sound of it, maybe they think he is gay. Now is he? I have no idea; I mean, he is only in 8th grade so can we cut this kid some slack? And so what if he is? Does that give kids a free pass to bully and teachers a free pass to look away?

I get it, everyone has their own beliefs and their own views but a difference of opinion shouldn't foster hate. Given the fact that I have grown up in a Christian environment and going to church all my life, I know how almost everyone around me feels about this subject, which is why I haven't really spoken up about it until now whenever I see things like this happen. I've heard it in my own family. We think being gay is a sin so it is ok to look down on people and call them names and make them feel terrible about it...cause it is something you don't agree with or understand. But since when did God say it was ok to go around and turn a blind eye on bullying since it was to a person you think is less than yourself? Or think, 'I will bully or let this bullying slide because who the person is is something I don't want to stand up for or support.' ...like they deserve the nasty looks and remarks they get.

Look, people are different. I don't get a lot of people and i'm sure a ton of people do not get me, but I think it's about time to put these differences aside and try to work on a more loving and civilized society...and that goes for everyone. Smile when you pass a homeless man on the street. Be patient when there is an elderly person trying to cross the street and you are waiting to turn. How about not judging the guy or girl next to you in line who has a lot of tattoos and has gauges in their ears.  Be kind to that one person that always seems to be picked on, for whatever reason. Befriend the outcast and love them too, in spite of who they are or what they believe.

Now, i'm not trying make people change their minds on what they believe is right or wrong...all i'm looking for is a little bit more compassion and love. Even if it is to those you don't agree with. That's all. Because truth of the matter, where do you think these kids get the idea to bully each other and who to pick on? From their examples. People they watch; their parents and society. So that's where this change needs to start. With adults, with society, with you, with me. 

The Semester Is Coming To A Close...Or, Glee now runs my life.

Well, when I came on here to update I realized it has been over a month since I have last updated. I'm trying to think about what I have been doing over this past month but I don't even know. Not too much. I guess last update was a couple weeks before Thanksgiving break which always tends to be when the mid-term paper and tests occur. But I think what has really kept me from updating, apart from the fact that I have absolutely nothing to say, is that I have pretty comfortably settled into the "senioritis" season of the year. Especially now more than ever, i guess, I find procrastination and any work whatsoever having to do with school is almost lost with me. So, one might wonder what I have been doing whilst I procrastinate and dread almost any form of homework and writing papers. TV. It is very sad yet true. I think it is official that TV has now taken over the largest chunk of my life. Keeping up with all the shows I love takes a lot of time! And not only the shows I have always loved but new ones as well. Here is the breakdown: Tuesdays- Glee and The Biggest Loser. Wednesday- Modern Family. Thursday- Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice, Parks and Rec, Bones. Sunday- The Amazing Race. I believe those are all the shows I follow on a weekly basis. (But, luckily for me, Glee had a nice 3 week hiatus in there and Grey's Anatomy's last episode of the year was like, 3 weeks ago so...that's that.) However, Rizzoli and Isles just returned this Monday for 5 new episodes this season so, that will be taking the place of Grey's while they are out. Back at square one.

So let me just talk about my latest obsession at the moment and if you ever see my updates on Facebook you might be aware: Glee. I had casually been watching the show off and on since its first season but I haven't seen every episode. For some reason I decided to follow some of the cast on Twitter a while back and then found myself (maybe at the beginning of the school year?) watching a lot of cast interviews and whatnot on youtube. I decided I would watch season 3 when it returned and it's been pretty good, some episodes better than others, but the more I watched their videos the more I fell in love with this cast. So, I recently decided I would start from season 1 episode 1 cause I realized I hadn't even seen half of season one and I have only seen probably less than half of season 2. So I just got done with season 1 and I have got to admit, I ended up loving it a lot more than I thought. Like, some topics that Glee addresses (and a few back in this season and the end of season 2) I found to be a little ridiculous and maybe not handled in...well, i dunno, the best or most encouraging way. I thought the show had always been like this but in season 1, they really did have some great lessons and as whole I can see why it was such a successful and moving show, especially when it first came out in season 1. It encouraged people that it was ok to be different, or who you are and accepting of everyone and that bullying is just, well, annoying. It showed its ok to stand up for yourself and stand up for your friends and fight for what you believe in. It showed that friends and relationships are important and being part of something greater than just yourself is so rewarding. It made me miss being on a team. A place where a group of people gathers where you can lean on each other and you are all working together to achieve a goal. A team where everyone is friends and no matter what, you still have each other, memories, and a good time. I know no one I know gets into tv shows like I do but, it takes me away to how things were or how I want things to be and gives me hope. Maybe I don't have that group of people or team atmosphere in my life anymore, but at one point I did and in the future I hope to have it again. So now, whether anyone else thinks it's annoying or likes it or not, I am invested in these Glee characters and this club. It sounds cheesy and like i'm a complete nerd (cause I am) but i've gotten addicted to this show and I just can't stop! (You are lucky I am writing this now instead of already starting season 2!) Yea, the show is reeeally ridiculous sometimes and Matt Morrison (aka Will Shuster) gets on my nerves most times than not, but I love it. I get to be apart of that little group at McKinley and live out the person either I never was or I kinda wish I could be (mainly because I can't sing at all, however I love singing so, this is unfortunate) Anyway, I have now been able to write however long on my love for Glee while I still have a 5 page African American History paper to write and the final exam/essay for that class to think about. Like I said, TV has taken over my life. So, that being said...off to join my friends and start season 2. If you need me on Tuesday nights at 7, I can be found watching season 3. ;)

Guys, update. I am just watching episode 1 of season 2 and I forgot to mention also how much I love watching their musical numbers :) They are actually really good. I mean it's like, a combination of my 2 favorite things, tv and music. What is not to love?? Rant over.

What does it matter?

It is only 12 o'clock, yet there has been an unavoidable theme to my day so far. Not anything that has really happened to me, but more outside forces that i've observed. I'll start from the beginning.

I'm walking to my first class and a song came up on my ipod, one that I really enjoy and have even quoted on my Facebook. As I was listening to the song, I heard a part of the song that I have never really payed attention to before; the part was as follows: "‎My comfort and my glory are shakin' when I see that my life's not a story about me. So stay humble, humble, humble." (As seen by my most recent Facebook status update) So upon returning to my apartment I decide to add that as my status and continue my day. Walking to my next class I hear another song on my ipod by Ben Rector called "Song For The Suburbs." If I could quote the whole song I would, but for the purpose of this post I guess I will just include the bridge and chorus, "Are we just running in the dark or living, are we just running in the dark or living? Cause I wanna live until I die, don't let the devil bury me alive, when my heart stops let me go home don't the let suburbs kill my heart and soul." After hearing that one I thought I should probably post that to Facebook as well, because lets face it, of course everyone cares about what music I post on Facebook, hahahah (that was a joke.) Anyway, so I arrive to class (African American History) and I can't help but notice what we were talking about tied into these songs a little. You see, this whole week we have been doing nothing but reading the book and talking about Invisible Man, and to set up a theme encountered in the book, we were talking about history and its roll in the past. What history is. Who writes it, what it means. And this all lead up to his point, (and I wish I could remember his exact quote because it was so funny, yet honest and he said what we might think is scary at the same time, but) that we are all doomed to obscurity. None of us (really) will live in history, be wrote about in the books. We will be forgotten...I mean, sure our family and friends will remember us for a short amount of time, but soon enough they will forget and the people that knew us will die too and that will be it, our lives just left in obscurity and nothingness (I mean, for the most part, I don't want to get all religious or start any debates up in here.)

So it got me thinking, what does it all matter? Really. And not only does our life not matter, but i'm reminded that our lives are short. So short, like a mist sprayed from a bottle (or whatever mist comes out of.) So why do people worry so much? Why do I worry so much. About my future, job, whatever. Shouldn't we just all strive to be happy and make others happy? Love. Do what you want to do, because in the end what really matters? It isn't like anyone will remember you anyway. Some might find this sad or depressing, but no one cares. (I mean, obviously people do and God loves you and whatnot...but in relation to the rest of the world and time and history, not so much.) So why would someone care if I got a tattoo, why do I care or have to have a job in the entertainment industry? So from now on, lets try not to worry so much. Especially on the things we can't control. God's got it all covered. I want to be happy, that's about it. Part of that happiness comes from others happiness, some of it comes from music, some of it comes from nature and photography, some of it comes from knowing God's love for me and serving Him, and some of it even comes from my hopes and aspirations to work in film (I find nothing wrong with that.) So whenever anyone asks me what I want to do after I graduate or for the summer or even next weekend, my answer is going to be, be happy. Whatever and where ever that might be. 

And for anyone interested in my two lovely songs, take a listen: "Stay Humble" Tyler James:

And "Song for the Suburbs" Ben Rector:

Blast From The Past- Xanga

For some reason, I ended up at my old blog spot, Xanga, today. If you aren't familiar with Xanga, it was like, the first social media site that was big with my friends. I don't even think Facebook had been invented yet and Myspace just wasn't good enough for my highly intellectual group of friends, haha ;) I apparently joined in 2005 when I was 15 and my last post was in 2008 i believe, but really only posted through 2007. Which was basically the chunk of my high school years. So, for a while today I was going back and reading all of my blog updates and the comments on them. It is so funny going back and looking at not only my posts but the comments on them as well. Sometimes I forget what life was like in high school, but after reading my blog I am reminded it was school, sports, and church, that's about it, haha. There was a lot of good times and good friendships though, and I kind of miss it. ...weeell. haha. But if you think my english/grammer/spelling is bad now, woah buddy just read what I was writting in high school! haha. Boy was I a terrible speller (and still am, but thank God for Google Chrome!) You know, I always thought it was weird how people would keep journals and stuff, but looking back Xanga pretty much was my journal. I wrote down my thoughts and what happened that day or week. Now I really enjoy going back and reading entries to see what exactly was going on in my life at that point in time. ...which is what i'm hoping I will be able to do with there here blog. I mean, I don't have that much meaningful stuff to say, and yea, most of the time it is just a mess but it's who i am. And I know that one day I will be able to look back on this blog and on this entry and be like, "oh amy..." So you know, I don't even care that no one reads this. I think it's something pretty cool to have, not only to keep me occupied when i'm bored but to have something that documents where I am right now at this point in my life. That being said, it is 8:30 and i still haven't had dinner so, I gotta go!! haha. Thanks for checking in, I hope everyone has a nice weekend! 

Oh, and if any of you are seriously bored enough and would care, here is my Xanga if you wanted to check it out in person. http://amylynn0002.xanga.com/ . 

The Smell of Home

You know those places and houses that have their own distinct smell? I remember growing up going over to my friends house (Savannah) and always knowing the smell of their house, I loved it. I know it sounds really weird, but even if she left some article of clothing (a jacket or something) in the locker room or in the classroom I, along with fellow students (I felt I should add that to sounds a little less of a creeper) would always be able to distinguish it was hers because of how it smelled. I never really thought my house had a smell and one day someone told me they liked how my house smelled, like it had a family smell...that scent was reserved for the Ergle household. I still couldn't really notice anything...until I left. After moving out, now every time I walk in the door for the first time during a break, that smell is there to welcome me home. It doesn't really last or standout as much during the rest of my stay, but that first greeting with home again always takes me back. You might be wondering why in the world I am writing about this now, but it isn't so far out of the blue, i promise. Here at school, I tend to wear a lot of the same things...i always pack and have more clothes than I actually need. So I pulled out a shirt that was kinda in the back of the drawer that I haven't worn yet for my p.j's and I smell my house. I can close my eyes, smell my shirt and it is just like I am walking in the door again for the first time after a long break. I just thought it was pretty funny how even though it has been a month and a half or so, the smell has still stayed. Well, I realized I haven't been updating as much recently and thought I could write about something other than my tv/music obsessions and my concerns about the future so, there ya go! ...I also thought this photo was funny of the welcome mat outside our house with the withering flowers. I'm pretty sure this photo was taken at least a couple of years ago but i wouldn't be surprised if that plant was still sitting around somewhere, haha. Hope everyone's had a good weekend! Thanks for reading.

Long time no update (kinda)...and I like to ramble.

It has come to my attention that I haven't posted in a while...the reason being I have nothing worthwhile to say but, I can hear you telling yourself "that has never stopped her before" and you are correct. But I thought I would add a little love to my blog and update. Here's all I got:

• I want to cut my hair...mainly because it is still really frizzy and there is nothing I can do with it, even the hair products my meme gave me can't tame it. I feel if I cut it, there will be less hair to manage and get frizzy. (nothing to crazy, like shoulder length)
• I am a huge procrastinator, like terribly so, but today and recently it has become especially bad with stuff for school...and mainly because it is reading..and also because it is for school. For example: 
• I need to have to page 195 of Invisible Man read by Wednesday and I am only on page 151...however, I am proud that I have been keeping up with the reading schedule so far and have managed to even read that many! 
• There is a book we need to read for my marketing of recorded music class called Hit Men. We don't even talk or do anything with this book in class so I find it kind of pointless, but we have to be reading it and taking quizzes online. They are all due October 21st. I think there are around 36 quizzes or so. I have only just read half of the first chapter...and I am really unmotivated to read anymore. I mean, I am already behind on Invisible Man! There is only so much reading my little pea brain can handle!!
• Also, i'm sure there is a bunch of other stuff for school I am not doing but, I try to block it all out from my brain to not think about it. (bad idea)
• just remembered, I need to be working on a paper for my African American history class. I should be e-mailing the teacher a topic to do it on sometime this week. It needs to be on integrating Invisible Man into other topics we have talked about in class and in the text book. (we have 3 texts that we are reading at the same time for that class...like I said, a lot of reading) And the whole paper is just making me more resistant to working on it because it just sounds like a lot of work and reading. 

Well, now that I have bored you with my boredom of school these days...I shall bore you more about whats been picking at my brain this week. (well, it is only Monday but, I always have a lot on my mind, haha)

Ever since I saw pictures and then set foot out in the Pacific Northwest I fell in love. It is, in my opinion, the prettiest part of the country I have seen. Is is so outdoorsy, and pretty, and full of creeks, and waterfalls, and pretty trees, I mean, I could just go on and on. So anyway, waaay back in the day when I was obsessed with Taylor Swift (oh gosh, God help me...my poor little soul, haha) I made a little group of friends online that were Taylor fans too. We all had myspaces and stalked Taylor and then became friends...i dunno, after seeing each other on taylors page so much? I don't even know anymore, haha. But anyway, so there is this girl and her name is Caitlyn. She is from the UK and we would message back and forth. We were friends for quite some time but you know, people get lives and myspace, well, is that a thing anymore even? haha. Well, we are friends on Facebook and I saw where not last summer but the summer before she came to America for the summer to work at a girl scout camp in Washington. I saw all of her pictures and got extremely jealous. It looked like a lot of fun and come on, the views and scenery were incredible! So this past summer I messaged her and asked about her experience and whatnot, she loved and highly recommended it. I actually thought about applying but, i'm sure my parents would have shot down the idea so, i just let it be. Anyway, I see again this summer where she is coming back to America and is going to be going to the University of Oregon. Because of the new Facebook changes, I am now seeing more of people that I normally didn't see updates from and she's been updating pictures from her time there so far. Today she uploaded pictures from her weekend where her and a group of friends went hiking and saw great waterfalls and beautiful trees. Anyway, it made me jealous. Jealous that she lived so close to all the prettyness (I just made a new word, deal with it) and that even though I did the same thing this weekend, I had to drive 2 hours on the interstate to get there...and it wasn't even as pretty as where they were!! So anyway, I have been thinking a lot lately that I reeeeally want to live out in the Pacific Northwest at some point in my life before I die. Not sure when, for how long, or what I would be doing there...but enjoying nature I suppose!! So anyway, there you have it and now you know. There is one of the places I must return. 

I know this has already been fairly long and boring so I won't type about anymore topics, but as mentioned above I did go hiking this weekend! Although I went at it alone (in Amy fashion) it was a lot of fun and I enjoyed myself. It was to a place 2 hours south west of here called Fall Creek Falls. It was great, I could literally stay in a 50 ft radius around a creek and be occupied for hours with my camera. (which is almost what happened, haha) So, here is a pic for your viewing pleaser. Keep an eye out for a whole album coming soon to Facebook. Thanks for reading and have a lovely week!!

...ok, I decided to add two. sorry.