The funny thing is, neither have you

I came across this picture tonight and that is just like me. Although I don't believe the people sitting next to me on purpose wishing i'd talk to them is applicable to me, a lot of this is. I have somewhat recently come to the realization that maybe i'm not the best at meeting new people because I, for some reason or another, am convinced that almost no matter who I meet, they don't like me or might think i'm annoying. I most of the time pride myself on the fact that I really don't care what people think about me, but when I stop and think about it...it looks like I actually do. Almost any instance when I would be thrown into a situation with a big group of people that I don't know, I can tell you I would be over in the corner by myself not talking to a single sole. Why? Well...I don't really know. It is true I like to keep to myself and I hate bugging people, so I figure it is just easier to not try to initiate conversation. Maybe i'm afraid of rejection? I really don't know. Maybe i'm not just a huge fan of humans to begin with, haha. But anyway, reading this made me realize I really need to start working on this aspect of myself. When I read "don't go around thinking nobody likes you and that you're not loved" I knew that is exactly what I need to start doing. Why do I always assume people don't like me? I mean, is there something so wrong or annoying with me that upon first meeting I would be so dislikable? I would hope not, but then again, who knows with people these days. Anyway, it is getting late compared to when I have to be at work, so I should call this rant to its end, but I felt like sharing, if even getting it out somewhere just for myself. Amy, not EVERYONE hates you. You are a great person and whoever you meet is lucky to get to know you. Don't always assume the worst and give people the chance to get to know you. (The advice from myself I should probably listen to...although knowing me, I won't, haha) 

Hellooo September!

Coming on here I just realized my last update was exactly a month ago today. Oops. All I can say is, i've been busy.

I guess at the beginning of August I was still working on the independent feature Ten Cent Pistol, which i'm sure you've read about. From there I worked a few days on The Voice helping out with the auditions and that was super fun! After that I helped out on a couple days on another indie feature, but that was rather sketchy, had a way smaller budget than the other indie's I had worked on and come to find out, they never ended up sending me a call sheet for the rest of the shoot (which I am A-OK with since they never even paid me for the 2 days that I did work, when they said they would.) Anyway, so when I thought I had 2 days off from that shoot (come to find out, they weren't days off, I just stopped working with them, haha) I was helping out on a thesis film for a grad student at USC. The first day we were filming about an hour into the Angeles National Forest and it was super pretty and a lot of fun. After realizing I wasn't going back on the other movie, I worked as long as I could on the thesis where we went camping out in the San Bernardino National forest...it was so much fun and the rest of the crew was great, so it was really a blessing that the other movie was a flake cause then I would've missed out on this fun camping adventure. For those that were wondering, it actually is a short. It was based on a true story of a gay couple that was camping in the woods when two guys that were also out in the woods shot at both of them and ended up killing one of them. Now I know everyone has different beliefs and trust me I am ok with that, but when we have come to the point in society when the amount of hate in the world is accepted and people go around bragging about it, posting pictures of the long lines at Chick-fil-A and furthering the disgusted attitude toward a group of people and harboring intolerance  it's enough to make me a little concerned when I go out on hiking trips myself. So did you ever hear about this story of two women going for a camping trip and one returning dead? Me either, because everyone was too busy in line at Chick-fil-A, scoffing at the gays and clapping for the gunman eliminating the sinners.

Rant over.

Anyway, so I ended up leaving the camping trip a day early and the shoot a couple days early to work on another short entitled Cat Power. It was a short written by a husband and wife who are industry professionals. The wife is an editor and the husband is a director and the crew in general was great. A lot of the crew I ended up working with were also industry professionals so I was able to make a few really good connections with people that said they would work with me again and send out my resume to their network. It was great fun. So I ended up leaving a day early on that as well to work on a web series pilot entitled Flare, about the world after the light is completely gone. I saw where the first AD from the movie I very first helped with when I got here (Geography Club) was looking for PA's, so I messaged him and be brought me along! Seeing as it is set in a world with no light, all our locations were deserted areas and we had 2 overnight shoots. The concept of this web series is pretty cool. They shot a bunch of behind the scenes, (of which I helped out with the behind the scenes interviews) and with as many as 8 cameras. At some point of the episode they are going to have split screen videos going and then e-mail you another video to be watching at the same time and then a separate video that can be playing on your phone of a different angel or viewpoint at the same time. Anyway, it sounds cool so I am pretty excited to see the finished product.

So anyway folks, that is what I was up to for the month of August. I don't think I was even planning on writing my whole entire August schedule when I came on here but, looks like that just happened and that is long enough so, i'll save any other topics for next time. Dang, I can't believe it is already September, where in the world has the time gone?! Oh yea, I guess I know...

"Always be nice to PAs, they'll be your boss one day"

It always makes me kind of uncomfortable when I have to talk about myself in a certain light, so I try not to make posts about this kind of stuff, but I thought this was a pretty cool complement so it goes for sharing. Yesterday at lunch I was eating with the transpo guy and the second AD and he was asking me what I wanted to do. I told him I wasn't 100% sure yet, I thought maybe I would take the AD route which is looking more and more plausible. He told me that whatever I end up deciding on I will be successful (after telling me earlier that week I have been doing "a hell of a job.") So anyway, the script supervisor was also sitting to my right and I guess she overheard our conversation so she jumped in and was saying all of this stuff about me that she had noticed. How I worked and how perceptive I was with everything that was going on around me. I was really flattered with all of the nice things she was saying, that I was going to go far in this business. A little later after lunch I was in video village (the area of set where all of the monitors and directors chairs are set up) and she told me she was talking with Michael (the director) that I was someone to watch and that I would be in charge of all of them in 5 years. I told her, well I don't know about that. And she was like, yea, i'm serious. I said if you want it hard enough and are willing to work hard for it. She agreed and said I still fit the bill. After being PA of the day on Friday, having Joe tell me on Sunday or one of the days how good I was doing and then after my conversations yesterday, it makes me feel really good that other people in the industry believe in me and are noticing the hard work and dedication I put into this. I don't have all the experience in the world, but when I am on set I want people to know they can count on me and for them to want to have me work with them. In this industry the hours are crazy and the some of the job duties are odd and monotonous, but I would really not want to be working anywhere else. I finally feel like this is exactly where i'm supposed to be.

My (and other's) view of the Church

I was driving home from work tonight when a Hillsong song came on and it got me thinking about a subject that i have been somewhat struggling with in the past few years, and that is the church. As anyone that is reading this knows, I grew up in the church as did anyone I ever knew, really. I am very blessed to have been born into the family I was and grow up learning Christ's love for me, but after so many years spent in church, you start making observations, get to know people in the church- how they act, treat people, and voice their opinions, and it kind of dulled it for me. I kind of grew this little resentment toward the church...or maybe just some Christians in general, but all the while still attending church services and keeping my faith. It wasn't my problem with God I was having (although now that I mention it, I can't entirely say that I didn't grow a little resentment and begrudging attitude towards Him) but it was most of the time aimed towards Christians. It was during this time that I could really see how hypocritical Christians and the church can be. Almost no one judges you more, I feel, than the high and righteous at church. I know a lot of people (Christians and church goers) say and make themselves believe that all are welcome in church, but some of the views expressed, words they say, and actions they have sometimes don't line up. They will repeat over and over again in church how the lost need to be loved- saved and invite them to church. But as soon as they walk out of church (and really still while they are in church) they are judging the very people they are trying to save. Why in the world would the lost even want to believe a group of people that is constantly looking down on them and judging them, while all the while many christians live almost identical lives. Now that the internet has basically created another world, it is now easier than ever to connect with each other, discover new things, broaden your reading and news articles. My point being, I am not the only one that feels this way. People want to know how to grow the family of Christ? Stop being selfish. Stop judging. Stop thinking you are God to decide what is right and wrong. And just love. Listen. And let God do the rest. Stop pushing God on them. If God wants them to join the party, trust me he has this under control. It is not the churches job to change someone's life, that is what God does. So why don't we just get out of the freaking way and stop being blinders from God. I have seen a number of people post a quote that goes something like, 'it is not God (or Jesus) I have a problem with, it is his followers' And many other variations of the same point. I feel like if we just calmed down and acted nice, showing love to others, people would catch on and then be a little more interested in supporting the God we follow, because at this point folks, the outside world doesn't have a great view looking in. They have no desire to join. All they see are hypocritical, judgmental, people who wake up earlier on Sunday and look down on groups that aren't perfect. I guess I may just be venting at this point, because the sad part about it is, I would have to agree. I get exactly where all the people are coming from and I see it. Yet I also know that my most valued times have been with God and spent in the company of some of my fine Christian brothers and sisters, so it is hard for me. The one thing I missed most leaving Nashville was my church I attended there, Cross Point. Unbelievable things happen there (there being church, in general) and through some great people...but until we as a whole can get past the prejudice the rest of the world see's, they will never get to experience those times, and that makes me just as sad, because I know it isn't as bad a place as they make it out out to be. Anyway, I should have gone to sleep a while ago as I have been lacking in the sleep department with my long hours. (Had a 17.6 hour work day yesterday, got up at 6:45 to do it all again today) But this is just something that has been a battle for me for a while now so I thought I would share. Just remember, the next time you see someone who looks, acts, and believes something different than you, they too will be judging your reaction and will either hinder or lighten a grudge they might be carrying.

If you're happy and you know it

I've been meaning to write this update for a few days now, but have been rather busy so lacked the time. Driving home from work the other day (at 2 in the morning) I was just filled with joy. Yea I was a little tired from working a 13 or so hour day, but I was happy. Then it got me thinking, that wasn't the first car ride back from work where I am singing along loudly to the music with a big smile on face, just because. You see, so far in my life (or for at least the past few years) I have been rather prone to slipping into mini depressions every now and again. Nothing too serious, just some sad spells that I would assume everyone goes through...just being lonely and wishing I had my life more figured out. But with that being said, I can honestly say that I haven't felt any of that sadness since moving to LA. I don't think I realized it until the other night, (and maybe i've been too busy to think about it) but those nights where I used to listen to rather sad music and wish my life was different, dreaming of and picturing something different than what I had been living. Not to say that i've had a bad life, cause its really been great and I really am a blessed person but...these things (thoughts) happen. Well anyway, I feel that i'm finally content with life. No nights of mine have been spent day dreaming of another life (and again, mainly because the past few have been spent working on set, haha) or feeling bad about the one i'm living.

Since the 9th of this month i've been fortunate enough to be able to work on a movie, working 12-14 hour days and i'm loving it. Our work week so far has been Friday-Tuesday and last week during my break on Thursday I was already getting antsy, ready to be back working somewhere. I've had today and will have tomorrow off then i'm working again on Friday...the movie still films from Saturday-Tuesday, but I was only cleared to work on Friday, however I have worked the last 7 days of the movie, so hopefully if they are needing PA's anymore of those days, I can still work. Luckily enough, I spoke with another AD (assistant director) today who I forgot I told I would help out on stuff this weekend, so if the movie doesn't need me, I can help out on this other project. Anyway, needless to say, i've been staying busy and so grateful for it! I'm finally feeling really positive with my outlook on life. I've been able to meet a bunch of very nice people, making friends in the process and over all enjoying not only the film industry but southern california as a whole. I feel like as soon as I drove into LA and saw the mountains, it already felt like home. So here's to staying happy, busy, working, meeting more people and making new friends! Life. Is. Good.

The sets and people i've encountered

Well, i've been out in LA for about a month now and been able to be on a handful of sets. While thinking about the sets i've been able to help on and the people and actors i've been around, I thought it would be a great idea to write down some of the various sets i've been on and some of the actors involved, just for future reference and such. I thought my blog would be the perfect place for such documentation. So here we go:

Worked on:

Ten Cent Pistol- Independent Feature
     Jena Malone (Catching Fire)
     Joe Mantegna
     JT Alexander
     Elaine Kegan

Killing Vivian- Short Film
     Missi Pyle (Charlie & The Chocolate Factory, The Artist)
     Jason George (Grey's Anatomy, Off The Map)
     Paul Witten

Guinness World Records Gone Wild- truTV (Audience member, not crew)

     Host- Dan Cortese (What I Like About You, Melrose Place)

Geography Club- Independent Feature
     Nikki Blonsky (Hairspray)
     Alex Newell (Glee)
     Cameron Dean Stewart
     Justin Deeley (90210)
     Ally Maki (10 Things I Hate About You, Step Up 3D)
     Dexter Darden

Get Your Luv On- Web Series
     Dyan Cannon

Shadowed On Set:

The Exes- TV Land Show
     Wayne Knight (Seinfeld, 3rd Rock From The Sun)
     Donald Faison (Scrubs, Clueless)
     Kristin Johnston (3rd Rock From The Sun)
     David Alan Basche (The Starter Wife, Three Sisters)

You Can Follow the Leader or Use Your Voice

She's holding a torch in her hand
Pointing towards Heaven
And on the streets below her, people living out of trash cans
Are trying to believe she's got a plan

We dug a hole under the sea
But nobody knows how to stop the bleed
There's 999 channels on my TV
And I still have no idea what to believe

But there is a choice
Follow the leader
Or use your voice
Cause this will just keep up
Until we make a loud noise
And the hidden ones speak up

Over the water to the east
Two million in a square refuse to sleep
Till every pleading voice is heard
And all the world has seen
Revolution pull a king down to his knees

Cause they made a choice
Not to follow the leader
But use one voice
Shows ordinary people
Can make a really loud noise
When the hidden ones speak up

He started drinking too young
Tucked into his jeans now is a gun
And the stories of his ancestors
They will never be sung
For he is going where they do not see the sun

Oh look, there's a circus in town
Watch as the lion eats the clown
Tell me who out there is leading on the ground?
Who will catch the boy before he drowns?
If they're busy putting shows on for the crowd?

There is a choice
You can follow the leader
Or use your voice
Cause this will just keep up
Until we make a loud noise
And the hidden ones speak up


I had posted this song and a few lyrics on Facebook a little while ago when I was originally listening to Missy's album after it was released in Australia (and subsequently posted on youtube). I heard this song and immediately fell in love. Knowing that her album wasn't available in the US until July 17th, I held back and didn't really listen to any of the songs off her album anymore as to leave something to be desired when her album actually came out here in the states. Yesterday I was bored and thought I should give her album another listen when I got reacquainted with this song. Every time I listen to it I just love it more and more. I think the lyrics are just great...and empowering, and makes me want to get up and make a difference somewhere. A lot of people tend to keep silent on some issues or topics, even if they want to help, because they (me) might not think just one voice would have any impact...but it does. When a whole group of people change these mindsets of thinking one voice won't matter, it then becomes a group standing up for what they believe in, or change, or whatever have you. I love all of these lyrics but I especially like the verse concluded in 'revolution pull a king down to his knees.' When enough people believe in something and don't stand silent, it is impossible to go unseen...everyday normal people have the power to pull kings down to their knees. That's what revolutions do, all when people make the choice to finally not leave issues up to other people to take care of. Sometimes you have to be the solution to a problem, not just watch silently from afar. It's good to have leaders but it's also good to question who you follow and find your own voice. Stand up for what you believe in, make changes you think should be made, leave this world knowing you made your stance on something and to make it a little better of a place. These are the people that shape the future and change the world. Now I just hope i'm able to find and share my voice. I'm ready for a revolution.