My (and other's) view of the Church

I was driving home from work tonight when a Hillsong song came on and it got me thinking about a subject that i have been somewhat struggling with in the past few years, and that is the church. As anyone that is reading this knows, I grew up in the church as did anyone I ever knew, really. I am very blessed to have been born into the family I was and grow up learning Christ's love for me, but after so many years spent in church, you start making observations, get to know people in the church- how they act, treat people, and voice their opinions, and it kind of dulled it for me. I kind of grew this little resentment toward the church...or maybe just some Christians in general, but all the while still attending church services and keeping my faith. It wasn't my problem with God I was having (although now that I mention it, I can't entirely say that I didn't grow a little resentment and begrudging attitude towards Him) but it was most of the time aimed towards Christians. It was during this time that I could really see how hypocritical Christians and the church can be. Almost no one judges you more, I feel, than the high and righteous at church. I know a lot of people (Christians and church goers) say and make themselves believe that all are welcome in church, but some of the views expressed, words they say, and actions they have sometimes don't line up. They will repeat over and over again in church how the lost need to be loved- saved and invite them to church. But as soon as they walk out of church (and really still while they are in church) they are judging the very people they are trying to save. Why in the world would the lost even want to believe a group of people that is constantly looking down on them and judging them, while all the while many christians live almost identical lives. Now that the internet has basically created another world, it is now easier than ever to connect with each other, discover new things, broaden your reading and news articles. My point being, I am not the only one that feels this way. People want to know how to grow the family of Christ? Stop being selfish. Stop judging. Stop thinking you are God to decide what is right and wrong. And just love. Listen. And let God do the rest. Stop pushing God on them. If God wants them to join the party, trust me he has this under control. It is not the churches job to change someone's life, that is what God does. So why don't we just get out of the freaking way and stop being blinders from God. I have seen a number of people post a quote that goes something like, 'it is not God (or Jesus) I have a problem with, it is his followers' And many other variations of the same point. I feel like if we just calmed down and acted nice, showing love to others, people would catch on and then be a little more interested in supporting the God we follow, because at this point folks, the outside world doesn't have a great view looking in. They have no desire to join. All they see are hypocritical, judgmental, people who wake up earlier on Sunday and look down on groups that aren't perfect. I guess I may just be venting at this point, because the sad part about it is, I would have to agree. I get exactly where all the people are coming from and I see it. Yet I also know that my most valued times have been with God and spent in the company of some of my fine Christian brothers and sisters, so it is hard for me. The one thing I missed most leaving Nashville was my church I attended there, Cross Point. Unbelievable things happen there (there being church, in general) and through some great people...but until we as a whole can get past the prejudice the rest of the world see's, they will never get to experience those times, and that makes me just as sad, because I know it isn't as bad a place as they make it out out to be. Anyway, I should have gone to sleep a while ago as I have been lacking in the sleep department with my long hours. (Had a 17.6 hour work day yesterday, got up at 6:45 to do it all again today) But this is just something that has been a battle for me for a while now so I thought I would share. Just remember, the next time you see someone who looks, acts, and believes something different than you, they too will be judging your reaction and will either hinder or lighten a grudge they might be carrying.

If you're happy and you know it

I've been meaning to write this update for a few days now, but have been rather busy so lacked the time. Driving home from work the other day (at 2 in the morning) I was just filled with joy. Yea I was a little tired from working a 13 or so hour day, but I was happy. Then it got me thinking, that wasn't the first car ride back from work where I am singing along loudly to the music with a big smile on face, just because. You see, so far in my life (or for at least the past few years) I have been rather prone to slipping into mini depressions every now and again. Nothing too serious, just some sad spells that I would assume everyone goes through...just being lonely and wishing I had my life more figured out. But with that being said, I can honestly say that I haven't felt any of that sadness since moving to LA. I don't think I realized it until the other night, (and maybe i've been too busy to think about it) but those nights where I used to listen to rather sad music and wish my life was different, dreaming of and picturing something different than what I had been living. Not to say that i've had a bad life, cause its really been great and I really am a blessed person but...these things (thoughts) happen. Well anyway, I feel that i'm finally content with life. No nights of mine have been spent day dreaming of another life (and again, mainly because the past few have been spent working on set, haha) or feeling bad about the one i'm living.

Since the 9th of this month i've been fortunate enough to be able to work on a movie, working 12-14 hour days and i'm loving it. Our work week so far has been Friday-Tuesday and last week during my break on Thursday I was already getting antsy, ready to be back working somewhere. I've had today and will have tomorrow off then i'm working again on Friday...the movie still films from Saturday-Tuesday, but I was only cleared to work on Friday, however I have worked the last 7 days of the movie, so hopefully if they are needing PA's anymore of those days, I can still work. Luckily enough, I spoke with another AD (assistant director) today who I forgot I told I would help out on stuff this weekend, so if the movie doesn't need me, I can help out on this other project. Anyway, needless to say, i've been staying busy and so grateful for it! I'm finally feeling really positive with my outlook on life. I've been able to meet a bunch of very nice people, making friends in the process and over all enjoying not only the film industry but southern california as a whole. I feel like as soon as I drove into LA and saw the mountains, it already felt like home. So here's to staying happy, busy, working, meeting more people and making new friends! Life. Is. Good.

The sets and people i've encountered

Well, i've been out in LA for about a month now and been able to be on a handful of sets. While thinking about the sets i've been able to help on and the people and actors i've been around, I thought it would be a great idea to write down some of the various sets i've been on and some of the actors involved, just for future reference and such. I thought my blog would be the perfect place for such documentation. So here we go:

Worked on:

Ten Cent Pistol- Independent Feature
     Jena Malone (Catching Fire)
     Joe Mantegna
     JT Alexander
     Elaine Kegan

Killing Vivian- Short Film
     Missi Pyle (Charlie & The Chocolate Factory, The Artist)
     Jason George (Grey's Anatomy, Off The Map)
     Paul Witten

Guinness World Records Gone Wild- truTV (Audience member, not crew)

     Host- Dan Cortese (What I Like About You, Melrose Place)

Geography Club- Independent Feature
     Nikki Blonsky (Hairspray)
     Alex Newell (Glee)
     Cameron Dean Stewart
     Justin Deeley (90210)
     Ally Maki (10 Things I Hate About You, Step Up 3D)
     Dexter Darden

Get Your Luv On- Web Series
     Dyan Cannon

Shadowed On Set:

The Exes- TV Land Show
     Wayne Knight (Seinfeld, 3rd Rock From The Sun)
     Donald Faison (Scrubs, Clueless)
     Kristin Johnston (3rd Rock From The Sun)
     David Alan Basche (The Starter Wife, Three Sisters)

You Can Follow the Leader or Use Your Voice

She's holding a torch in her hand
Pointing towards Heaven
And on the streets below her, people living out of trash cans
Are trying to believe she's got a plan

We dug a hole under the sea
But nobody knows how to stop the bleed
There's 999 channels on my TV
And I still have no idea what to believe

But there is a choice
Follow the leader
Or use your voice
Cause this will just keep up
Until we make a loud noise
And the hidden ones speak up

Over the water to the east
Two million in a square refuse to sleep
Till every pleading voice is heard
And all the world has seen
Revolution pull a king down to his knees

Cause they made a choice
Not to follow the leader
But use one voice
Shows ordinary people
Can make a really loud noise
When the hidden ones speak up

He started drinking too young
Tucked into his jeans now is a gun
And the stories of his ancestors
They will never be sung
For he is going where they do not see the sun

Oh look, there's a circus in town
Watch as the lion eats the clown
Tell me who out there is leading on the ground?
Who will catch the boy before he drowns?
If they're busy putting shows on for the crowd?

There is a choice
You can follow the leader
Or use your voice
Cause this will just keep up
Until we make a loud noise
And the hidden ones speak up


I had posted this song and a few lyrics on Facebook a little while ago when I was originally listening to Missy's album after it was released in Australia (and subsequently posted on youtube). I heard this song and immediately fell in love. Knowing that her album wasn't available in the US until July 17th, I held back and didn't really listen to any of the songs off her album anymore as to leave something to be desired when her album actually came out here in the states. Yesterday I was bored and thought I should give her album another listen when I got reacquainted with this song. Every time I listen to it I just love it more and more. I think the lyrics are just great...and empowering, and makes me want to get up and make a difference somewhere. A lot of people tend to keep silent on some issues or topics, even if they want to help, because they (me) might not think just one voice would have any impact...but it does. When a whole group of people change these mindsets of thinking one voice won't matter, it then becomes a group standing up for what they believe in, or change, or whatever have you. I love all of these lyrics but I especially like the verse concluded in 'revolution pull a king down to his knees.' When enough people believe in something and don't stand silent, it is impossible to go unseen...everyday normal people have the power to pull kings down to their knees. That's what revolutions do, all when people make the choice to finally not leave issues up to other people to take care of. Sometimes you have to be the solution to a problem, not just watch silently from afar. It's good to have leaders but it's also good to question who you follow and find your own voice. Stand up for what you believe in, make changes you think should be made, leave this world knowing you made your stance on something and to make it a little better of a place. These are the people that shape the future and change the world. Now I just hope i'm able to find and share my voice. I'm ready for a revolution.

My longer than normal update (LA has been good to me)

I know its been a while since I've posted.  I've already been in LA for 4 weeks now (man does time fly) and i've been meaning to update about my experience but 1, i've actually been able to stay relatively busy, and 2, i'm lazy. So I guess we can do a quick catch up, even though I feel if we are friends on Facebook, you've got the basic gist. Actually, why not, we can start from the beginning of this journey...(I have no idea how the rest of this is going to go)

So I guess about a month ago I set out for LA. I had left Florida but not yet arrived in LA. My mom and I had stops in Lafayette, LA (good time), San Antonio, Tucson, and was able to stay with Wade and Beth in San Diego. It was a nice drive over and after a few pain staking days of searching I came up with a great room in a lovely lady's home.

The first week I was here I was able to tour around the CBS lot, go backstage and hang out on set of a TV Land show called the exes. I had met a guy online via a site called Couchsurfing.org who works as an accountant on the show so after meeting with a PA he hooked me up with, we toured the lot and met people, and watched the show. It was a great time. Later that week I was able to help out on a web series hosted by Dyan Cannon where she mentors kids who want to be professional dancers, actors, singers, all of the above. I was able to meet a handful of great people who worked on the crew and that was a pretty good experience as well.

Another great opportunity I was able to have was meeting up with a guy who I had e-mailed quite a while ago and talked to on the phone before moving out who works in the business as a PA for union gigs and is assistant directing for non-union projects to get into the DGA. He had asked if I wanted to come visit set where he was the second second (assistant director). I came out for a day, was able to meet him for the first time as well as a handful of the other crew on the show who were all very nice. His name is Jared, for future reference.

I guess next in my "work" timeline was helping build a set for a USC Grad students film thesis. One of the guys that I met at the web series was helping out so he texted me to see if I might want to help out as well. I ended up going for the day, helped put up some walls and then made some fake wood flooring. Everyone there was really nice and it was a good time.

Another project/person i've been meeting up with at this point is a producer/writer/director named David. I got in contact with him after meeting a friend of his in Ocala when I was getting my oil changed right before leaving. David is producing a movie soon so I have been meeting up with him to discuss the business, get more familiar with the area, and learn more about the movie so I can help out in some capacity.

Moving along my timeline, I got a text from Jared (remember, second second) asking if I would like to come help out on set. I of course thought it would be great experience so I obviously jumped on the chance. One of the PA's (Allie) was in charge of another unit that day, so I was going to step in and help out where needed while she was off helping with a photo shoot. The day went by great, I was able to learn a lot of things and grateful for my chance to be around a set again.

At this point I hadn't gone on any hikes yet, but had seen the beautiful scenery and heard the hiking was good, so I set out on some hiking adventures of my own. The Angeles Forest is only about 10 minutes away from me and one day when I was out driving around getting familiar with the area I came across a hiking sign, so I saved it on my GPS and that was my hiking spot for the day. I ended up going on a beautiful hike where I later got lost but, that's a different story for another point in time, haha. Now, trying to work out my timeline and I did go to Griffith Park to the observatory and hiked up to the Hollywood sign before this so, we'll just add that in there.

After my hiking adventures I got another text from Jared asking if I would like to come help again. I went in and helped out on Friday and again on Saturday night-Sunday morning, which was their last day of filming. I ended up helping PA for 3 days of the movie and observed for 1 day and even after that time I already felt almost like part of the crew. I was able to talk and work with another PA, Aaron who is a really nice guy (also known on set as little Aaron), Anthony, Ira, Big Aaron, (As previously mentioned:) Jared and Allie, and more of the crew who I could list but I guess I would just be rolling off names, but trust me they were all very nice. Sunday night was the wrap party for this and I at first was not going to go since I would feel bad, not really being part of the crew, but Anthony, Big Aaron and Ira were talking to me Sunday morning before I left the shoot and said I should go...so I did. And i'm really glad I did. I was able to hang out more with some of the crew, meet some of the cast and even meet some new people like a friend of Jared's (Michael) who is very nice and i'm glad I met.

I feel like this is getting way too long that people won't even want to read it so I don't even want to go into much more, but then there is Teresa who is friends with a friend back home i've been able to meet up with and hike with who is very nice, I was a paid audience member for a Guinness World record show for TruTV, I was able to celebrate the fourth atop a mountain hanging out with Aaron, his friend (and my new friend) Edwin, Jared, his wife and daughter, Allie, and a whole bunch of strangers, haha. But I guess I could just wrap it up by saying its been a lot of fun. I really didn't have all too many expectations or really know what to think coming out here, not knowing anyone. Before leaving everyone was a bit dumbfounded I was coming out here not knowing anyone (and even telling the people i've meet here are too, haha) but i'm so lucky that i've been able to meet the people that I have and been able to have all these experiences so far. There is even a lot more that I haven't even mentioned, but I guess we can save that for a later date (like for example talking for a minute about how awesome Ophelia and Ken are (two of the people who I live with)) Anyway, it is getting rather late and I feel i've written a novel, so I shall conclude my little entry now, but I guess now you know a little bit more what in the world i've been up to here...and i'm loving it!