Late Night Ramblings

Well, enough time has passed yet again to make another update….also, I have been without cable and the internet the past 2 days at the house and as it turns out, my computer is pretty useless to me without the internet so, figured I could give it a little love by at least typing up some sort of update. I really have no idea what to say given the fact that anyone that is going to read this already knows what I have been up to since the last update. (filming Daniel, going to Thailand and going home for Thanksgiving, all very fun and great experiences) I could go on about what I’ll be doing the rest of the year and/or looking back on the awesome second half of this year but, I already do that too much. I thought maybe tonight I could share with you something I read tonight. It is from the Jesus Calling devotional, which starts out: 

“I LOVE YOU with an everlasting Love, which flows out from the depths of eternity. Before you were born, I knew you. Ponder the awesome mystery of a Love that encompasses you from before birth to beyond the grave.”  

I love that. So often I go through living my life, not really thinking about God yet all the while still knowing and appreciating what he does for me. I know different people have different times and do different things that make them feel closest to God, but when I read and hear stuff like that, those are some of the times I feel closest to Him. I know I should spend time with him everyday, do I? No. I know I should read my bible everyday (or even often) do I? No. I know I should pray more than I do and be more charitable. And does knowing that I am failing in all of these areas make me feel bad? Well, yea. But that just blows my mind even more when I read things like that excerpt above. We (I) don’t do what we(I) are supposed to. We(I) are idiots. We (I) let God down. But in spite of all of that. In spite of our sin, in spite of us not talking to him, in spite of not pursuing a deeper relationship with Him, he still loves us with an everlasting love. A love that no matter what we do, He is always there for us. I wouldn’t say I’ve had a terrible life at all, but I have had a few bumps in the road and in those times, no matter how distant I thought I might have made myself from God, I could always feel him right there with me. No matter how lonely I got, there was always one consistent being with me the whole time shouting I LOVE YOU. There is nothing in the world more comforting to me than feeling those words. Yea, people can throw those 3 words around, and I have heard it said to me and questioned what exactly that meant. But when I sing it. When I read it. It takes over my being and gives me the contentness (not a word, but it is now) that can not be matched in this world. I know I could do my part more, and what I’m just about to say is partially up to me, but I really hope everyone in the world can get that chance, that feeling. The feeling of knowing how much they are loved, and no matter what ANYONE else says and no matter what they do or if they even believe it or not, that love will never go away. I’m sure I know it is a selfish thing of me crave, but I enjoy those moments during the Sunday morning worship service the most. When I can hear songs of His love and proclaim right back at him that He will always be the one I will run to, and despite my actions, the one I love.