The odds of being alone...

I just discovered this song today when I was on iTunes previewing the Of Monsters and Men album (which, by the way, is really great) I'm not exactly sure how I came about it, it might have been in my recommended section, but I have already listened to it multiple times today. I always go through this thing when listening to songs; the very first time I hear a song it is basically just background music, then if I like it I sit down and actually listen to it. I bought the song because I knew I already liked Trent Dabbs and Amy Stroup and the song title drew me in. The more I listened to the song the more I have grown to love it. The feel, the sound, the lyrics. It mellows me out. Not even taking any other part of the lyrics into consideration, there is just something about the chorus, "wouldn't you like to know, the odds of being alone" that sounds so honest and pure that I can connect with. I have spent much of my time these past few years being alone, which i'm ok with and quite enjoy, but I often times wonder my odds of being alone for the rest of my life. And not in just a relationship since, but with friends too. I mean given my situation, i've basically come to terms with the fact that i'm just gonna be single forever, so that's unfortunate, but how alone AM I going to be? What ARE my odds? I kinda WOULD like to know. But, I guess that's life and if we knew the answers it just wouldn't be any fun. I have faith though that everything happens for a reason and alone or not, i'm excited for this next chapter in my life.

Lyrics:
Watching your world spin
Feel farther from it now
With nowhere to begin how are you to figure it out

Wouldn't you like to know
Wouldn't you like to know
Wouldn't you like to know
Yeah
Wouldn't you like to know
Wouldn't you like to know
Wouldn't you like to know the odds of being alone
Alone
The odds of being alone
Alone

Learning goodbyes
It's never easy love
The harder we try can never be enough

Wouldn't you like to know
Wouldn't you like to know
Wouldn't you like to know
Yeah
Wouldn't you like to know
Wouldn't you like to know
Wouldn't you like to know the odds of being alone
Alone
The odds of being alone
Alone

I need answers now 'cause I am caught off guard
The quiet feels so loud
Tell me this is the hardest part
Tell me this is the hardest part

Wouldn't you like to know
Wouldn't you like to know
Wouldn't you like to know

Wouldn't you like to know
Wouldn't you like to know
Wouldn't you like to know

Wouldn't you like to know
Wouldn't you like to know
Wouldn't you like to know the odds of being alone
Alone
The odds of being alone
Alone
The odds of being alone

Movie Sets, COBA KATs and Realizations

This is one blog post that i've wanted to write since the day I got back from my first day of shooting the movie i'm helping with. Time wasn't in my favor, spring break intervened, but tonight after taking the coba kat, it reminded me of how much I now truly despise business and would love to be elsewhere...like back on set.

My first day on set was a week from last Saturday...so the third. I wasn't entirely sure what to expect since I hadn't really been on a movie set before, but I was very excited to find out. We have now already finished our second weekend of shooting and thankfully the experience hasn't let me down or not met up to my expectations...or hopeful expectations at least. Anyway, some of you might be wondering what it is that I exactly do on set, well I will tell you. My official title is PA, production assistant. I guess it really varies on which production and who you are working for as to what you do, but basically, whatever anyone on production needs you to do. I will start off with day one and kind of just run through some of my tasks as of yet: making sure props are on set and with the correct actors, for 2 of the 3 locations we were shooting in the first day I had to jump in as an extra, make sure the actors are either on set or notified to be on set, being an actor stand in while the cameras are setting up the scene with camera placement and lighting, in charge of the slate ((See picture above) I keep track of which scene/take we are doing and writing it on the little board that I hold in front of the camera before the scene is shot), holding up the lighting board for outside scenes (to reflect more sunlight on the actors for better lighting), and just whatever anyone else needs in general. I know this might sound like an odd job aspiration for some people, but I am honestly loving it. (And when I say job aspiration, this would just be entry level, post-graduation, most feasible job i'm looking for.) It's true there are long hours and the long running joke on film sets is "ready, set, wait" since there is a lot of sitting around and waiting, but I really don't mind. To be honest I quite like the long hours. I know it is mainly because of the company I keep during these long hours, so I am fortunate I like everyone else helping out with the movie. Both the crew and the cast have great attitudes and work ethics and we actually have been working ahead of schedule most days, which is always nice. I really hate to go back to Glee here because i'm sure you are sick of me mentioning it, but it just popped in my head. On the pilot episode Rachel told/asked her teacher, "Being part of something special making you special, right?" And I kind of feel that. I like the feeling again of being part of a team, working with other people to produce this project that we can be proud of, that we know took time and attention, but together we made it happen. I think I will always remember one day after lunch I was sitting in the classroom and Tommy, the director of photography, and Eric, the other camera guy walked out of the room and I was still just sitting at the table listening in on another conversation and Tommy asks if I was coming...I didn't know that he wanted me to, and he said yeah, we're a team now! So Tommy, Eric and I went outside to set up the scene and it is just little things like that that make me want to do this so badly. After that first weekend I knew for sure that this was what I wanted to do. Leaving set, although yeah, I was a little tired, but I was happy. I had a day full of laughing, feeling somewhat productive, being a part of creating this movie, and just hanging out with fun people. I actually couldn't believe some people did this for a living. Now, I know you can't really make a living off being a PA because since they are at the bottom of the totem poll on any film set, they don't get paid great, but i'm ok with that and I am also ok with getting by with very little and even picking up a part-time job to keep it going. Well, I was going to mention the COBA KAT tonight and my business classes and how I honestly could care less, but given the fact of what I have just written about my experience on set so far, I guess it all could go without saying. I know this whole business thing has been something I've been feeling for a while now, so it is not new, but it just makes me more and more thankful with every class and test I take that I was able to find and latch onto something that I truly care and am passionate about. Whenever I had to sit through those finance, marketing, and now strategic management classes almost all I could really think about was, I honestly didn't care. I had/have no interest in finance and I don't think I could even tell you what in the world was on that COBA KAT I just took. I can't. I just can't get into business. But what I can is film, and i'm so glad it finally made its way to me. I can't wait again still filming again on Saturday, but then again, the sooner and more we film the sooner it will be done! ...hmm, maybe someone is making something in April I can out with! :)